Allah is The Greatest
i read your email today. never expected to receive one. thank you, although it made me cry on this auspicious eid. i wish that i never receive it. you may ask why i read it then. i do not want to be in the state of not knowing when the means is laid in front of me, notice that i used to ask alot?
whatever your intentions, whatever you did and the effects thereafter, intentionally or otherwise, it is between you and Allah. in my dictionary of life, there are better ways of doing the things that you did, a better finishing style that is more respectfull and with adab. as i look back, i believe that your friends have much influence on you. and in my humble judgement, if i am put in your shoes, i will find more knowledgable, respected scholars to ask advice from. not someone with a problem with the same nature of yours and is still caught up with what the best solution is, not to mention jumping into the same hole twice or thrice. you handle your situation to much extend the same way your referred point handle it, have you notice?
your email did more harm then good to myself. it may serve your ego. good for you. the victims in this messy mess is the people directly related to you, surely you notice that but too caught up in yourself to realise or to admit it. because you always say that you did this for other people that you claim you care for. i partly see the truth in that, still i can see yourself is the centre of it all. "the only good thing that came out from this is that she wears hijab now" you said. how egoistic, unthankfull and pessimistic that sounds to me. i hate you for the things that you did, forgive me Allah. may be you do not know the extend of despair you have caused to person who cares for you.
i bottled up what happen in me. and that make it harder on me. i even notice that i look older faster, haha. i know i should share this burden somehow to someone. but i am not much of a sharer of inner feelings to other human soul. insyaAllah i will survive. when i have nothing, i have everything if ALlah is with me.
and i notice you search for and read my profile. i recognise the IP. why bother?
innaliLlahi wa inna ilai Hi raji'uun
